[ what is the point? he is... also distracted. right: ]
Agreement, ain't it? What's mine is hers, hers is mine. [ and maybe sometimes sybelle disagrees about how much is his ] Business, sure, but the rest too. Made a decision on who to put first. Said whatever shakes out, it's gonna be her and me.
But she's not here to give a damn, and can't think she's not railing half Val Royeaux —
But if she’s away cos she needs some space, [ because Astrid does remember how he’d phrased it, the first time he ever mentioned his wife to her, ] why don’t y’get divorced like normal people and then just get hitched again if you wind up together again?
[ Lowlanders are weird. ]
Back home you set a number of years on the marriage. And then if it’s still working at the end of that and you’d like to continue, you tie the knot again if you like; or let it dissolve. No use having the oath if you’re not gonna stick to it.
'Cause we're still together. Take all the space she wants, still my best girl. And anyway, that's a lotta contract shite to sit through. Family's like the Nocen. Fulla sharks.
Nah, just kidding. It’s not like… I mean, it’s not like you get jailtime or banishment or whatever so I guess there’s no real punishment, really. But it’s just… holds are so small, y’know? Everyone knows everyone and most everyone’s related or connected in some way. Word’ll get around and they’ll find out that your word’s not worth shit and you’ll lose standing in the community, like. People don’t like to trade with an oathbreaker. If you won’t stick to one of the most important promises possible, then who’s to say you won’t screw someone over when trading for food.
[ Lazar probably would screw someone over in a trade, but still. ]
It’s not a complicated contract, anyway, ‘cos nothing lasts forever. You just tie some knots into a long rope and then your partner tries to untie them and that says how many years you’ll be married.
[ probably that falls under chop off dick — anyway, that's not the point, brushes it off — ]
Figure it matters for some folks. Just never seen the point unless you're trying to work out where the kids came from. And even then, dunno. She shows up with a basket of elves, we're still raising them. What d'you get out of it?
You’d really raise someone else’s bastards? Most wouldn’t. [ She lifts her sending crystal and peers at it, reassessing what she knew about Lazar. In the meantime, local gal struggles to explain monogamy: ]
It’s knowing they’re your best girl in every way, for the time that you’re together. All in. Like I’m fine with fucking around but if you’re gonna put a ring on it then it ought to matter in the bedroom too, y’know?
Although I s’pose a bit of it is knowing where the kids come from— Avvar are named after our parents, you could go back and back and back and follow each person’s lineage that way if you had to. Holds are so small that you’d want to know the father was who they said it was. You don’t wanna accidentally knock up your half-sister.
[ small-town insular community struggles ]
— Ugh, fine. Maybe it doesn’t matter so much out here.
Hell, I'm the runt of the litter. Could be a bastard myself. Can get that, though. Sorta the same back North. Used to swap for other villages, keep from fucking your cousins so much.
Now, Orlais... once they got titles, start tracking it for all the wrong reasons.
Nothing dramatic. Just ended, as things do. We were trying it out — some people do marriages just one year, like, as a test run to figure out if they’re good for each other — and we went two years. She was more an indoors type and at first that was kinda nice, having someone to come home to, someone to warm my bed in the winter. But I kept going out on extended scouting trips, had a hard time convincing her that it wasn’t her, that I wasn’t avoiding home or anything, I just liked being out in the field by myself. And I got—
[ she hesitates, ]
Bored? I guess? Wanted something new. Variety. Started getting a little cabin fever-y. And after I could tell that I wanted to fuck someone else, then that just wasn’t fair to her anymore and it was time to give it up.
Took it okay. I mean we screamed and cried at each other for a little bit, but then it was… what do the nobles always call it? An amicable split or whatever. She didn’t want to stab me and I didn’t want to take a shit in her bed, so think that means we came out alright. She moved back home to her hold. We’re friendly, if we run into each other on trading trips.
[ it feels like she’s allowed to be nosy now in turn: ]
[ a snort for shitting in her bed – but he rumbles something near acceptance. yeah, that comes out alright. beats a bad end, especially somewhere small. never know when you'll need a rebound. ]
Money. Those contracts, again. Supposed to merge it all, you know, hers and mine. But she's got family in her ear, riling her up. Don't like a human in their business.
[ they don't. that's, maybe, independent of everything else. ]
She'll come around. Figure she got it out of her system with the crossbow.
[ the second thought only hits her a moment later — was that too mean to joke about? — but there’s a certain flippant thoughtlessness that comes more easily around lazar. she’s taking the piss. obvvvviously. ]
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[ Astrid’s easily distracted, almost meanders down that tangent and loses her original thought. She hauls her attention span back. ]
Right, but. So you’re still married but still getting your dick wet on the side? What’s the point of the binding then?
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Agreement, ain't it? What's mine is hers, hers is mine. [ and maybe sometimes sybelle disagrees about how much is his ] Business, sure, but the rest too. Made a decision on who to put first. Said whatever shakes out, it's gonna be her and me.
But she's not here to give a damn, and can't think she's not railing half Val Royeaux —
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[ Lowlanders are weird. ]
Back home you set a number of years on the marriage. And then if it’s still working at the end of that and you’d like to continue, you tie the knot again if you like; or let it dissolve. No use having the oath if you’re not gonna stick to it.
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[ short ones. shorks. ]
What happens if you don't stick to your oaths?
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Nah, just kidding. It’s not like… I mean, it’s not like you get jailtime or banishment or whatever so I guess there’s no real punishment, really. But it’s just… holds are so small, y’know? Everyone knows everyone and most everyone’s related or connected in some way. Word’ll get around and they’ll find out that your word’s not worth shit and you’ll lose standing in the community, like. People don’t like to trade with an oathbreaker. If you won’t stick to one of the most important promises possible, then who’s to say you won’t screw someone over when trading for food.
[ Lazar probably would screw someone over in a trade, but still. ]
It’s not a complicated contract, anyway, ‘cos nothing lasts forever. You just tie some knots into a long rope and then your partner tries to untie them and that says how many years you’ll be married.
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[ probably that falls under chop off dick — anyway, that's not the point, brushes it off — ]
Figure it matters for some folks. Just never seen the point unless you're trying to work out where the kids came from. And even then, dunno. She shows up with a basket of elves, we're still raising them. What d'you get out of it?
[ gotta be something she sees in monogamy ]
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It’s knowing they’re your best girl in every way, for the time that you’re together. All in. Like I’m fine with fucking around but if you’re gonna put a ring on it then it ought to matter in the bedroom too, y’know?
Although I s’pose a bit of it is knowing where the kids come from— Avvar are named after our parents, you could go back and back and back and follow each person’s lineage that way if you had to. Holds are so small that you’d want to know the father was who they said it was. You don’t wanna accidentally knock up your half-sister.
[ small-town insular community struggles ]
— Ugh, fine. Maybe it doesn’t matter so much out here.
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Now, Orlais... once they got titles, start tracking it for all the wrong reasons.
[ anyway ]
So what happened with the wife?
[ and her monogamy kink ]
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[ she hesitates, ]
Bored? I guess? Wanted something new. Variety. Started getting a little cabin fever-y. And after I could tell that I wanted to fuck someone else, then that just wasn’t fair to her anymore and it was time to give it up.
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he doesn't say it. not because he wouldn't, because he's more interested in: ]
How'd she take it?
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[ it feels like she’s allowed to be nosy now in turn: ]
Why’s yours want space?
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Money. Those contracts, again. Supposed to merge it all, you know, hers and mine. But she's got family in her ear, riling her up. Don't like a human in their business.
[ they don't. that's, maybe, independent of everything else. ]
She'll come around. Figure she got it out of her system with the crossbow.
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Did she shoot you or the family with the crossbow?
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Jayce. He’s almost tall as you, and got the shoulders. Just need to make him grow that stubble out into a real beard.
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[ the second thought only hits her a moment later — was that too mean to joke about? — but there’s a certain flippant thoughtlessness that comes more easily around lazar. she’s taking the piss. obvvvviously. ]
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